Blaise Tapp: Weight lost, pride gained but my muscles are still missing
For those of you who’ve stumbled upon my sometimes incomprehensible ramblings over the past couple of years, you’ll know that I’m rather pleased with myself having lost a considerable amount of weight during this time.
Three stone to be precise. Although my long-suffering family and pals are clearly sick of hearing about my not-so-remarkable achievement, it hasn’t stopped me banging on about it and I’m particularly proud of the fact that I’ve managed to keep my blubber off for the past 18 months. I don’t mind admitting that I still get a kick out being told by those who I’ve not seen in awhile about how much healthier I look these days, although one wag recently asked, with a glint in their eye, whether I’d been ‘on the jab’. The cheek of it.
However, despite the fact that I’ve not felt this healthy since the days when Bet and Alec Gilroy were running the Rovers Return, there’s still plenty of work to be done before I can be considered to be in peak condition. As Mrs Tapp eagerly pointed out the other day, I could do with building up my muscle strength, as well as toning up, which is code for ‘get down the gym’.
She’s right, of course, as my body profile is reminiscent of how a five-year-old would draw an old man - a squeezed circle for the body with stick arms and legs, not to mention a hairless blob for the head. Since my weight loss, I’ve bought some tighter fitting t-shirts but they won’t see the light of day due to the fact I look like a burst sausage in them.
The gym, however, isn’t that appealing due to my experiences with an array of such establishments over the years - it was literally money down the drain, particularly when my membership card - it was that long ago - was primarily used to scrape ice from my windscreen. I’ve seriously considered investing in some equipment for the shed but then there’s potential for that to end in tears.
I was encouraged to read the other day that an Australian study suggests that just one minute of vigorous activity - such as running up and down the stairs or lugging in the big shop - could add years to one’s life. Like all studies it comes with caveats but I’m all for taking a shortcut in life so I will give it a whirl if it means that I don’t have to dig out my singlet and sweatbands to have a chance to get rid of my dad bod.