A man told his mum, “It’s over for me. I’m so sorry for everything,” a day before taking a lethal cocktail of drugs.
Dad-of-one John Rainey, 39, had recently been involved in a court case in which it was claimed he had been sexually abused as a four-year-old, but the man accused of molesting him was cleared.
“Since the court case, he had gone into a very dark place,” his mum Helena, 60, said at his inquest. “Nobody knew him.”
John, who lived on Lytham Road, South Shore, and worked as a plasterer, was found in an outhouse the day before he died.
An ambulance was called amid fears for his safety and he was taken to Helena’s house, where he seemed “very calm and collected”.
Helena said: “He apologised for everything he had done in the past. He never opened up to me or talked about his feelings but he did on that occasion. He told me he loved me but he couldn’t carry on the way he was living. He said, ‘I won’t hurt you again, and I don’t want to hurt any more’.
“He said, ‘I’m going to die, Mum,’ and I said, ‘No, you’re not, you’ve got 13 lives’. He said, ‘No, it’s over for me. I’m so sorry for everything’.”
Later that day, John was arrested on suspicion of burglary and taken in for questioning before being released. Welfare checks were done before he was let go, but just seven hours later on January 21, he was dead.
The court heard that, following his release, John, a known drug user, went to his friend’s house with drugs and offered her some. She noticed he took a much larger dose than usual.
John’s friend said she found John looking dizzy before he collapsed. She performed CPR and called 999.
But police did not believe her story. By the time paramedics arrived at the house at noon, ten minutes after being called, John had clearly been dead for some time, the court was told.
Det Ch Insp Eric Halford said: “I would suggest there may have been an hour, possibly two, where she has fallen asleep or unconscious in her own room, and I think what’s more likely is that when she woke up she has found John.”
Helena believes her son, who had a history of depression and anxiety, meant to kill himself. She said: “John was a drug user, and he was an intelligent lad. He knew the amount of drugs that would kill him.”
Coroner Alan Wilson said there was not enough evidence to prove that John intended suicide, and handed down a conclusion of a drugs-related death.
John’s aunt, Linda Burns, 58, said: “John worked very hard, and then this court case came up and he went downhill from there.
“John was a man’s man, he wasn’t soft, but this was with him all his life. It took him 39 years to say anything.”
“John was very daring. Nothing fazed him. He always treated everybody very kindly. Whatever he had, he would share it. He loved his mum more than anything.”
John leaves behind his mum, sister Kelly, brother Christian, and a young son..