Swanky meals gone wrong writes Roy Edmonds

On this occasion I was to report on his discussion with civic and business leaders but, as I kept notes while also eating our roast lunch, a piece of broccoli stuck in my throat. The lady mayor kindly patted my back and offered water, while Sir Harold and my editor waited, steely-eyed, for my distracting choking attack to subside – stupid boy!

This made me recall other dining faux pas as an up-and-coming journalist. My first swanky meal at a Press event saw me staring at an elaborate restaurant menu in French. To cover my ignorance, I told a waiter, “I’ll have the same,” following the nearest diner’s confident order. Fortunately, I enjoyed my first steak chasseur, then discovered my favourite cheese dessert - Stilton on buttered digestives. I never looked back!

Finally, came my dining experience with the Governor of Hong Kong while working out there. It was a balmy evening at Government House (pictured), where we gathered for drinks on the terrace. Other guests were Chinese millionaire industrialists and wives and we later dined with the Governor, Sir Murray MacLehose, at our head.

Aperitifs and wine had gone to my nervous head, as I reached with shaky chopsticks to a shared plate of mushrooms in oyster sauce. Halfway to my bowl the morsel dropped, forming a dark splodge on our immaculate white tablecloth. This I unwisely tried to pick up, only spreading it further.

“Best ignore!” whispered a kindly woman beside me, then a uniformed flunky placed a dish over the blotch - while Sir Murray glared disparagingly at me.

Hopefully, my table manners are better now.

* Read Roy’s books in paperback from FeedARead.com also on Amazon Kindle or through Waterstones.

Thanks for reading. If you value what we do and are able to support us, a digital subscription is just £1 for your first month. Try us today by clicking here