It’s not that cheap but Chester Zoo is rather a marvellous place writes Steve Canavan

It was a treat for her third birthday, though just how it was a treat I’m not sure as my wife Mrs Canavan has a season ticket for Blackpool Zoo and seems to take Mary there every other day.

I’ll be hard at work – you know, earning a living and keeping the household going – when my mobile phone will sound.

Mrs Canavan’s name will come up on screen. Like any man when his better half is ringing, I ignore the call but you can only do this about seven times before you feel guilty and suddenly wonder if there’s an emergency at home, like one of the children is ill.

So eventually I answer, “hi, is everything Ok, is one of the kids ill?”

‘No. They’re fine,’ she’ll say, sounding puzzled as to why I asked. ‘Why did you think they were ill?’

“Because you’ve phoned seven times despite knowing the fact I’m at work,” I’ll reply, slightly testily.

She doesn’t pick up on the annoyance in my voice.

Instead she’ll say brightly, ‘guess where we are?’

“Where?” I sigh.

‘The zoo!’

“Oh”

‘Mary wanted to come.’

Me: “Right”.

At this point she might perhaps pick up on the fact my answers are on the short side and ask if I’m ok.

“I’m fine. It’s just that I’ve got a huge spreadsheet I need to fill in and the deadline is half an hour away.”

I can only assume Mrs Canavan has a hearing problem because she’ll then tell me something about the elephants, before doing the thing all mums do and start having a three-way conversation involving the child.

‘Mary wants to tell you something,’ she’ll say and before I’ve had chance to say, “well actually darling I’m a bit busy at the moment”, I hear Mary’s shrill, slightly sulky voice say something about the monkeys eating nuts.

Then Mrs Canavan says, ‘tell daddy what happened in the café’. And Mary begins a long rambling story which makes no sense at all about a drink that she knocked over.

By this point I’ve put the phone down and am continuing my work, occasionally making a grunting noise to demonstrate I’m still there, though in reality it doesn’t matter whether I’m listening or not because it’s effectively a conversation between my wife and child.

It’s incredibly annoying and makes me once again envy my parents generation when, after leaving the house for work, you didn’t see or speak to your partner or family until about 10 hours later. Bliss.

Anyway, back to what I was originally writing about – Chester Zoo.

What I didn’t realise was how big (35,000 animals, 128 acres) and how popular it is – voted best in the UK by Trip Advisor and third best in the world.

I also love the story behind it. In 1903, a little lad called George Mottershead, from Sale in Manchester, was taken to Belle Vue Zoological Gardens as a treat, to celebrate the end of the Boer War. Instead of enjoying the experience, he was horrified by seeing all the animals confined in tiny cages and vowed – despite only being nine-years-old at the time - to one day create a zoo without bars (which is a bit of a bold idea – I mean I’m not sure I’d been keen on going to see some tigers without something to keep them from tearing my limbs off). George sounds an interesting fella. He retained his interest in animals throughout his youth, building an aviary for birds (I’m not sure the words ‘for birds’ was necessary there; I mean you don’t build an aviary for cows do you) and keeping lizards and snakes (which must have delighted his neighbours).

He got married while on leave from fighting in the Great War in 1916, then returned to the trenches for the Battle of the Somme, only to be shot through the neck. It left him paralysed but despite doctors saying he’d never recover, after three years in a wheelchair (during which time both his brothers were killed in the war) he astounded the medics by learning how to walk again. Apparently he had ‘a bit of a limp’, though given the initial prognosis I’m sure he wasn’t too concerned about that.

Then – just to complete this uplifting little story – he earned some money from selling pet birds at a market, bought some land near Chester, began acquiring animals including two Himalayan black bears, monkeys, chimpanzees … and the rest is history.

George died in 1978 at the age of 83 but Chester Zoo continues to go from strength to strength … and I’ve got to admit from our little birthday visit with Mary that it is indeed a rather marvellous place.

We wandered about a lot (it’s so big you can’t get round it all in a single day), pointed at various animals, ate some home-prepared paste sandwiches wrapped in tinfoil (we know how to live), and generally had a very pleasant time.

Which was just as well because a day out there for a family isn’t cheap, it must be said. Indeed I noted with interest as I was booking our tickets online that you can even get what’s called Platinum Lifetime Membership, for the bargain price of £1,250.

How much? For that price I would expect not only life membership of the zoo, but a semi-detached house on site and a complimentary two-hour swim with the penguins each week.

Anyway, Mary seemed happy with her day out, though on the downside now wants a pet snake. We’re hoping she forgets that idea very soon – the lounge just isn’t big enough for an anaconda – though with the amount Mrs Canavan takes her to the zoo, there’s every chance she won’t.

I can only assume Mrs Canavan has a hearing problem because she’ll then tell me something about the elephants