Age, memory and tiny Penguins writes Roy Edmonds

Beside the cosy fireplace at Edmonds Towers, I was reading our favourite monthly magazine, The Oldie. My enjoyment was only marred slightly by its posh contributors’ clearly lavish lifestyles.

By Suzanne Steedman
Thursday, 24th February 2022, 3:45 pm

“Blimey!” I announced to She Who Knows, sounding like a real oldie – as, of course, I am. “Look at these cord trousers - £65 a pair!”

“Well, they’re good quality – obviously,” commented She Who, sounding more reasonable.

It wasn’t long ago I’d bought a similar pair for 20 quid, I informed her. In fact, they were upstairs hanging in my wardrobe – and I could still get into them as well. (Unlike my faded blue jeans or evening-dress suit.)

Sign up to our daily newsletter


“More like 20 years,” she told me, “you should get rid of those old clothes.”

Best let the matter drop, I decided.

More ageing reminders had come at our Thursday afternoon dance in Fleetwood’s North Euston Hotel, entertained by keyboard wizard Ian Midgley.

Ian also provides a good quality and variety of biscuits to enhance our half-time coffees and teas – all these days bought wrapped, since Covid.

“Hmm, these Penguins are good!” commented Alan, our oldest dancer and a nonagenarian.

“Smaller though,” pointed out wily Harry, who’s an eye for a sharp deal even now.

“They’re all smaller nowadays,” agreed our honorary biscuit monitor, Eunice (nothing to do with that weekend storm). “Look at Wagon Wheels – they’re tiny.”

“And Mars bars!” declared Harry’s wife Barbara.

It was true, everything seems smaller now – or is it just age and memory?

Some things have got bigger – but let’s not go there, it could get personal . . .

“What’s your waist and inside-leg sizes?” asked She Who, stirring me from my reminiscing.

Oh dear, I’d put my foot in it again!

* Read Roy’s books in paperback from , also on Amazon Kindle or through Waterstones.

Thanks for reading. If you value what we do and are able to support us, a digital subscription is just £1 for your first month. Try us today by clicking here