A Word In Your Ear with Roy Edmonds - Thursday, July 15, 2021

I’ve got a hunch about this...

Thursday, 15th July 2021, 3:45 pm
Old people crossing
Old people crossing

‘Don’t slouch boy!” was the cry from concerned school teachers, as we adolescents shuffled by trying to look ‘cool’ and indifferent.

“You want to straighten up, get out and enjoy the sunshine!” my father used to enthuse, while I sneakily smoked up in my bedroom and pawed through older brother’s ‘secret’ copy of Lady Chatterley’s Lover.

Dad had lots of home-exercise stuff like dumb-bells, ‘Indian’ clubs and a pole with knobs on each end you curled your arms over backward - called a back-straightener.

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Now it’s my wife’s turn to cajole me into puffing out my chest to look better or, more accurately, not appear even older than I am.

She Who Knows bought us both Velcro ‘posture correctors’. I’ve got mine on while typing this column and barely notice it.

“You look taller and so much better – younger!” She Who Knows judged. I’m doing 20 minutes to start then building up. You’ll notice the difference when seeing me striding out proudly.

The realisation I was hunched and looked aged came after glimpsing my reflection in a shop window. I looked like the oldies bent and using walking sticks in those road signs, warning motorists of nearby elderly who might cross their path.

It was also about the same time that the nurse at my medical centre told me, during an annual check-up, my height was now two inches less than it had been in my prime – I’d shrunk!

Well, we’ll see about that – there’s life in this old boy yet.

And don’t think you can relax either. We regularly spot people who have let their neck disappear into a crouching posture, which instantly transforms them into ‘fogies’.

So beware, I’m drawing up a list of suitable acquaintances who will also benefit.

Your posture improver will make a far more beneficial gift than that usual bottle of plonk!

For Roy’s latest books visit royedmonds-blackpool.com.

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