Grieving families share their baby loss heartbreak to help others

So to help support grieving parents, Blackpool Teaching Hospitals has produced a series of videos from people who have experienced baby loss in their families.

Trust specialist bereavement nurse, Megan Murray, said: “Most of the people I see come because no one talks about their baby.

“They have experienced pregnancy, all the physical and emotional changes, and yet when they lose the baby no one talks about it.”

“This is one of the main things families want to talk about, they want to share their experience, they had time with their baby and they need to talk about it.

“People say they do not know how to help, but talking with the grieving family, talking about the baby, naming the baby, all of those things are so important.

“If we don’t talk about what happened, it makes the couple feel so uncomfortable about mentioning their baby’s name.”

“Some families don’t get to talk about their baby, and the beautiful experience they had in such difficult circumstances.

“It can be so difficult to see a person you love and care about cry, so often loved-ones avoid the conversation.

“My role is to support these families and to allow them to talk where they have not been able to talk about what has happened to them.”

Megan’s job is to support families when they lose their baby. This can be from conception to up to 28 days old.

Megan has been in post for many years and has helped hundreds of couples with their grief.

This year, as part of Baby Loss Week, which runs until October 15, Megan asked some of the families she has helped to open up and talk about their experiences so they can help others

going through similar tragedies.

As part of this a mum, dad, grandma and sibling have shared what happened to them in videos, which they hope will help others with their grief.

Mum, Laura Wilkinson, tells of the heart-wrenching decision she and her husband had to make to terminate their pregnancy.

“Grace had an anomaly in her brain which was a severe threat to life,” explained Laura.

“After tests and meetings with neuro experts we made the hardest decision to end the pregnancy.

“We wanted the best for Grace and did not want her to suffer and we brought her into the world peacefully.”

Dad, Kevin Williams, said stillbirth had never even crossed his mind until it happened to him and his wife.

“It was hard for people to know what to say after we lost River,” he said.

“We wanted to talk about it, we had created a beautiful daughter, but a lot of people could not understand.

“Getting counselling was the best thing we did.”

Grandma, Karen Foden, spoke about the devastation of watching her daughter go through multiple baby bereavements and the affect that had on her and her family.

“My daughter had five miscarriages and one ectopic pregnancy.

“I found it hard as a mum not to be able to put everything right for my baby.

“I felt lost because I could not make everything okay.”

Megan Nelson Hunter is the 17-year-old younger sister of two siblings who both died.

“My brother and sister who died have always been part of my life and we always remember them.

“I was born exactly two years to the day after Lauren and I always celebrate her special day as well as my birthday.”

Baby Loss Awareness Week aims to raise awareness about pregnancy and baby death in the UK.

Blackpool Teaching Hospitals has shared the videos as well as messages from bereavement nurses and midwives at the Trust on its website.

Visit https://www.bfwh.nhs.uk/baby-loss/

Call (01253) 956877 to contact the Trust’s bereavement services.