This is how my wife now lives each day almost eight months on from her second Covid vaccine, with the worst of the symptoms now masked by an array of tablets of ever increasing strength.
She is part of an ever-growing section of society who are suffering and have slipped through the cracks of the pandemic.
I'm referring to those living with long Covid symptoms or the long-term effects the vaccine has left them with.
My wife was the strident, intelligent, fun-loving driving force of our family, but has been reduced to a shadow of her former self since receiving the second dose of the AstraZeneca vaccine.
Where there was once energy, quick wit, and an almost encyclopaedic knowledge of many things, including medicine, those once familiar traits are trapped behind a vaccine fog, a barrier created by the daily struggle with so many different symptoms.
Doctors seem helpless in their attempts to ease her suffering, leaping from one tablet decision to another in the seemingly vague hope it might help.
It’s certainly a worry when your GP openly says they “just don’t know” what to do with these cases, and the best they can offer are pills to mask the impact, with no cure in sight.
And while she continues to mask the pain, and fight the fatigue while waiting for a neurology referral that is literally years away and may still not help, we collectively continue to worry.
Our family worries that this might never go away and that something worse might happen.
While the worry continues, all we can do is take the doctor’s advice, covering up the symptoms of damage that the Covid vaccine has left her with.
Imagine, at this point, hearing that the vaccine has only left you with a very low percentage of protection and that a booster is now not only required, it is a must.
Now, along with the constant fight with the post-vaccine effects, my wife has to fight the never ending pressure from the Government to “get the booster”.
And as all this goes on, I have never felt farther away from my wife than I do now.
We’re barely within touching distance of each other’s worlds, and it breaks my heart.
We’re just lucky that my wife wasn’t just strident, smart and loving, she was and thankfully is also a fighter.
Now we focus on getting her well, medical exemption from the vaccine, and hope that we can overcome this together.
My thoughts are with those who haven’t got the fight within them, and those that never got the chance.