Lancashire parents warned not to dismiss social media 'red flags' as 'typical teenage behaviour'

Sam Tyrer heads up the award-winning health education initiative delivered by Lancashire and South Cumbria NHS Foundation Trust.

The service is dedicated to fostering resilience in young people and improving their overall health and wellbeing and the team works closely with schools and children.

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Sam said: “Teenagers are developing their identity, and when that process plays out online, it can become warped.

“They often tie their self-worth to likes, followers or views – and when that validation doesn’t come, it really hits hard. What’s meant to be a way to connect ends up making them feel more isolated.

“Recently I’ve noticed trends around ‘sad aesthetic’ content glamorising depression or anxiety, or using humour to mask really serious struggles. It’s easy for teenagers to start identifying with those narratives in a way that keeps them stuck.”

Sam wants to raise awareness of the strong link between harmful social media use and poor mental health, how to identify the signs young people may be struggling, and crucially – how to have open and productive conversations.

He has provided the following advice:

The warning signs

There are some red flags, although these can be easy to dismiss as just ‘typical teenage behaviour’ if you’re not looking closely.

A few things to watch out for:

- Becoming withdrawn or noticeably more irritable after being online

- Constantly checking their phone, even during moments which should be calm, such as mealtimes and before bed

- Struggling with sleep – especially staying up into the early hours scrolling

- A dip in confidence, or becoming overly focused on their appearance

- Avoiding in person social events, even ones they used to enjoy

- Regularly deleting posts if they don’t get ‘enough’ likes or comments – that one’s a big clue.

It’s about spotting the changes in behaviour, especially if they seem linked to what they’re seeing online.

Starting the conversation

Don’t make it a lecture. Teenagers tend to shut down when they feel they’re being told off or analysed. The goal is to open a space, not interrogate. Use curiosity to open a conversation.

You might say something like: “I noticed you seemed a bit low after being on your phone – how are you doing?” or “What’s your social media feed like now? I’m interested in what you’re seeing.”

It’s important to be human and you can even share your own personal experiences with social media to help them feel less alone.

It’s about building trust and showing them it’s safe to talk. Remind them that talking about mental health isn’t a weakness, it’s one of the bravest and healthiest things a person can do.

Using social media as a positive force

Social media can be a positive force for all ages if used intentionally. These tips can be used for yourself and the young people in your life:

- Curate your feed like your wellbeing depends on it, because honestly it does. If someone’s posts leave you feeling rubbish about yourself, unfollow them

- Follow uplifting, positive accounts – whether it’s mental health advocates, funny memes or creators who promote realness over perfection

- Set time limits that you control, not the app. Use screen time tools to create healthier boundaries.

- Normalise taking breaks. You’re not missing out, you’re recharging

- Be wary of algorithms on certain apps. They learn what you linger on and it can quickly become all you see. It creates an echo chamber.

And most important of all, check in with yourself. Ask yourself why you’re opening the apps and if the answer is boredom or anxiety, try something else instead.

More information is available on the Change Talks website.

For help with yours or a loved one’s mental health, visit: Accessing mental health support. Lancashire and South Cumbria NHS Foundation Trust