Alcohol Free Women Initiative Across Blackpool, Wyre and Fylde
Julie Sillett, based in Wyre has been living alcohol free since November 2020 when she realised that alcohol was having a detrimental impact on her physical and mental health. Similar to many women, alcohol had been part of life's celebrations, commiserations, a way to de stress at the end of a busy work day and to socialise with friends and family. Wine was her preference and as the years passed, Julie noticed an increase in headaches, anxiety, low mood, weight gain and a general feeling of ill health that she attributed to alcohol.
Julie continued to work full time in social work, management and practice education and raise a family but felt she needed to make a change. She stopped drinking for 3 months in 2018, noticed an improvement in physical and mental health, yet thought that if she returned to drinking less often and in moderation this would provide 'the best of both worlds,' with continued improvement in health whilst still feeling a sense of belonging with friends and family in social situations by joining them for a drink.
Within weeks, Julie found herself back in the same pattern of drinking as previously, realising that although she'd stopped for 3 months she hadn't worked through the reasons why alcohol played such an important role in her life. She hadn't developed alternative solutions to coping with life's pressures, hadn't recognised her triggers to drink and hadn't found alternative ways of socialising and having fun without alcohol. Therefore, the same drinking routines and patterns of behaviour soon returned, along with the inevitable impact on physical and mental health.
In the next 2 years, Julie utilised her learning from 2018 and eventually reached the conclusion that living alcohol free was the best decision for her to make. She followed people online who lived alcohol free, listened to relevant podcasts, read 'quit lit' autobiographies of those who'd stopped drinking and learned the science of the impact of alcohol on the brain and body. She watched alcohol related documentaries to reinforce her decision and bought alcohol free drinks ready for the day she stopped drinking.
On 21st November 2020, Julie knew she was 'done' with alcohol and had her last drink. From her research, she knew it was safe for her to stop completely. Although she'd felt an increasing psychological dependence on alcohol to cope with stress and pressure, drinking a couple of glasses of wine several nights a week with more at weekends, she didn't have a physical addiction which would result in withdrawals and risk to her life by suddenly stopping. This time was different to 2018, she threw herself headlong into alcohol free life, ready for change and wanting the long term benefits. Alcohol free drinks were helpful in the early months, research shows we may crave sugar when we first stop drinking, Julie did not restrict herself. If she wanted cakes, chocolate, sweets, she had them. Each day without a drink was a 'win.' Sugar could be tackled later on if needed. Julie lost 15llb within the first 6 weeks, that weight has never gone back and she does not diet. She believes her previous weight was due to the wine calories plus the takeaways and snacks that went alongside.
After 4 months solo on her journey, Julie felt a little isolated. Friends and adult family members were supportive of her decision but they still drank and she didn't know other people living alcohol free. She joined a paid online group for men and women for 2 years, feeling less isolated and learning many useful tips that helped her continue her journey. However, she tended to be quiet in the Zoom meetings, conscious that family at home may overhear her conversations. The group also included people from the UK and internationally. Julie did not feel able to form deep connections and friendships through an online forum. She enjoyed the learning during the 2 years but left the group when she felt ready to continue alone again.
In 2023, Julie noticed a gap in local services for women who do not feel they 'fit' into the specialist alcohol addiction services or not drinking to the extent they require alcohol recovery services. Women who are making lifestyle choices to no longer drink, or interested in the benefits, or who are cutting down on alcohol and value the opportunity to meet in person, to connect and form friendships in a safe non judgmental space. She began a group in Carleton and now has additional ones in Fleetwood, Blackpool and St Annes. She chose the name Alcohol Free Women as it's symbolic to her of a strengths perspective, clarity, freedom from the harms and constraints of alcohol and women are empowered to make their own decisions and choices. There is no obligation for women to stop drinking if they join the groups. Julie checks in with the members who are alcohol free to clarify if they're feeling triggered by conversations when other women still drink and need time to explore their relationship with alcohol. So far, all report they are strong in their own alcohol free journey and pleased to be part of a no shame and no blame community to support others to explore their own individual decisions and choices. Julie is mindful of risk of withdrawals for any woman who may be drinking heavily, advises them not to stop suddenly and seek advice from health professionals first.
Julie works full time at UCLan as an Apprentice Educator on the social work degree and MA programmes so runs the groups on a sole trader basis in evenings and weekends. For just £6 pay as you go, women can attend any groups, have unlimited tea and coffee, including decaf and herbal, biscuits, free books to borrow from the group's quit lit book library, leaflets and information on other health and wellbeing services including holistic practitioners, information on community activities and alcohol free social events. They can also choose to join the free WhatsApp chat which currently has 26 members for connection, advice and support between groups.
If professionals are interested in signposting women to the groups or women would like further information themselves, Julie can be contacted by phone or message on 07845041333
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Julie can also attend speaking events to share her own journey to alcohol free living and hopefully inspire others to cut down or stop.