If you had £1 left in your pocket, what would you spend it on?
After it emerged yesterday that Blackpool’s star performer this season, goalkeeper Colin Doyle, could leave the club for just £1 this summer, we visited a popular high street retailer to see what other football-related bargains could be had for the same price.
Here’s what we found…
1 A pack of ten Finish dishwasher tablets
A few more finishes and Blackpool might not have been doomed to the mires of League Two next season. We got 10 for just 10p each because, let’s face it, sadly there’s only one type of cup Blackpool staff will need to keep clean for the time being.
2 A disposable barbecue
Pool chairman Karl Oyston’s son Sam tweeted a picture of the club hotel’s new pizza oven on the same day relegated was confirmed. We’re not sure how much it cost, but it’s impressive looking. Still, we reckon our own pizzas will crisp up a treat on our disposable barbie.
3 A table-top football game
For practicing match tactics, though the formation is very rigid, or for simply whiling away the long summer hours until preparation gets under way for Pool’s upcoming trips to the likes of Grimsby and Newport.
4 A vintage feather duster
The last item worth polishing was the Championship Play-Off final trophy. Oh, how long ago that seems. This should keep the dust away for a while…
5 A large, bouncy tennis ball
The stunt by fans against Burnley in 2014 was impactful, with hundreds of tennis balls lobbed onto the Bloomfield Road turf while Sky Sports cameras rolled. That is until they ran out of balls. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, but if they had used bouncy balls, their high jinks might have lasted much longer.
6 A Men in Black DVD
Alright, we admit it, this one’s a bit tenuous, but referees are nicknamed ‘Men in Black’ and that’s a hard, cold fact. This 1997 classic sees Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones taking on an evil alien bug trying to destroy the galaxy.
7 Grass seed
The state of the Bloomfield Road pitch has been criticised in recent years. For just 100 of your Queen’s pennies, we bought enough seeds to cover 10 square metres.
8 A Fray Bentos chicken balti half-time pie
Sadly, this can’t be cooked on our brand spanking new disposable barbecue, but £1 for a chunky half-time pie is a bargain not to be sniffed at.
9 A multi-pack of Bovril
This beefy hot beverage is a staple favourite at matches up and down the country, and has been for generations.
With Pool fans pledging to stay away from Bloomfield Road next season, they’ll still be able to sit down with their steamy favourite at 3.45pm every Saturday - from the comfort of the sofa.
10 Vanishing free kick spray
This non-toxic temporary white spray helps prevent pesky defenders encroaching at free kicks, and vanishes in around 60 seconds.
If you’ve got a whistle handy, you can take it to Stanley Park with you during the off-season and harass the teenagers using jumpers for goalposts.