'It's all rather surreal at the moment', says heartbroken widow of Fylde's first coronavirus victim

“I really need a hug,” said Jacky Ramsden from the confines of the home in Lytham she shared with husband Paul, until he died of coronavirus last week shortly after the couple had returned from holiday.

Jacky has been in isolation there since and she is grateful to friends who have sent a multitude of cards in his memory and dropped off essentials for her as well as neighbours who have given her friendly waves through the window.

But Paul’s wife of 40 years doesn’t think his death has hit her properly yet and she is finding the grieving process particularly difficult because of the uncertainties and restrictions of the coronavirus lockdown.

“A hug really would be a big help,” she said.

“I’m really missing him and I don’t think I have taken it in properly yet.

“We have normally been used to two kinds of bereavement - one when someone is ill and you perhaps are able to prepare for their loss and the other a sudden death.

“In both cases, comfort from friends and relatives is a major help through the grieving process and even in wartime, the opportunity has been there to turn to someone for a comforting hug.

“But this isolation rules that out, at least initially. Everyone has been so kind, with their cards and messages and I am so grateful I had all those years with such a wonderful man - but it’s all rather surreal at the moment.”

Jacky’s message to everyone in the wake of Paul’s shock death – although he was 80, he was fit and healthy and a dedicated cyclist – is to be sure to follow the Government advice to stay home, protect the NHS and save lives.

“It’s there for everyone’s benefit,” she said.

“What I would remind everyone is that if their relative is taken into hospital with Covid-19 symptoms, you won’t be able to go with them, even if it is your child. They will be there in hospital alone.

“Everyone who dealt with us, from the 111 service, the paramedics and all at Blackpool Vic, was wonderful, but I could only keep in touch with how he was doing by phone – it really is vital we abide by the restrictions to protect ourselves, our families and everyone.”

Paul and Jacky had been enjoying a holiday on La Gomera in the Canary Islands when all Spanish territory was locked down.

“We had enjoyed a lovely evening whe we were suddenly told that La Gomera, despite being virus free, was being locked down because of the situation on the mainland and we had to leave by ferry to Tenerife the following day,” she recalled.

“We ended up flying back to the UK through Gatwick. Paul was tired on the long journey but we just put that down to fatigue and he had an early night to try and get over it.

“But I couldn’t wake him the following morning and after a call to the 111 phone line, an ambulance arrived to take him to the Vic and that was the last I saw of him.”

Paul died five days later and the tributes from friends and former workmates at BAE Systems at Warton, from where he retired in 1999, poured in.

Tony Ward said: “Paul was a lovely, quietly spoken gentleman and I remember the enthusiasm and dedication he brought to his role within Research Management.”

Paul’s funeral has been set for Tuesday, April 14, when Jacky will be out of isolation but lockdown rules mean numbers of those attending will be severely restricted. Donations in his memory are invited to the Galloway’s Society charity for the blind which Jacky says helped Paul through two eye operations. They can be made via Horsfield and Family funeral directors of St Annes. Tel. 01253 781011. A celebration of his life willl follow at a later date.