Andy Mitchell from Radio Wave

Make sure that everything is included in your all-inclusive holiday.

“Hopeyouenjoyourmeeeeeeels” said the sparky young barmaid with a pasted smile “..ANYWAY...as I said to Carl.....” and she was away back chatting with her pal behind the bar before I’d even managed to put the change in my wallet. “Thank you” I said... but she was gone.

It strikes me that corporate efforts at customer service might just need a bit of a makeover. You see, we all know all the automatic catch phrases now so we can do them ourselves. From the hideous American “Have a Nice Day” which has come to represent a whole movement of sickly sweet, essentially non British customer interaction, to the general expectation that we would all now like to keep things simple in an ever cluttered world.

The local sandwich shop offers an amazing array of options and alternatives, and with it, a bombardment of questions that can leave you bewildered at 8am. All these are asked by well meaning young members of staff, all perfectly courteous, but you get the impression they too would relish (see what I did there?) the chance for someone to just buy a sandwich in a minute and go.

“Everyfinkalrightwivyameals?” has become as needless as the now defunct “Wantelpwivyapackin?”, which of course died with the free bags at the supermarket.

Now don’t get me started on people who insist on using their mobile phones whilst serving the public. This is a big British no-no and strikes at the heart of our traditional way of buying and selling face to face. The petrol station attendant who insists on carrying on a phone conversation whilst dealing in sums of up to £50 at a time makes you wonder if his till figures ever add up, let alone allowing me the chance to be served by someone paid to serve me.

This, of course, works both ways. A good friend of mine who works on the till at a local supermarket tells me she gets angry when customers are on their mobiles,as it would be nice to have their attention for a moment.

It seems in our cluttered world, we could all do with stopping and observing the niceties..the manners we were (hopefully) taught, whilst of course not turning up in our pyjamas might be a good way of starting the day.