A Word In Your Ear - October 26, 2017

Roy Edmonds
Roy Edmonds
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We all follow some fashion of sorts, even if just wearing what’s comfortable and acceptable to those around us.

Last weekend’s glossy supplements had pictures of the most ragged jeans to date, with a few torn strands of denim covering vital areas. Quite sexy they were, too, though hardly designed for Irish Sea gales.

It made me think of favourite pairs of old jeans or slacks I’d reluctantly thrown away after tearing a hole in the knees. Why didn’t I just hang on to them? They’d be the height of fashion now!

The only true denims remaining in my wardrobe are a pair of ‘stone-washed’ light-blue ones I couldn’t wear comfortably even 30 years ago. Occasionally I still try squeezing into them, but can’t sit down or even bend.

Another pair are almost jeans but really a sort of browny canvas material – smeared with earth. They’re my gardening trousers, to be worn with similarly tatty, checked cotton shirts.

“They’d be fashionable too!” She Who Knows pointed out – when I was still doing some gardening.

An American clothing company is charging more than £300 for denims complete with “crackled, caked-on muddy coating”. They make the wearer look “rugged” and “not afraid to get down and get dirty”. Designer-dirt jeans look like they are “being worn by those who have dirty jobs, while being tailored for people who haven’t”.

Critical commentators, however, rightly point out that you can get the same look wearing cheaper ‘strides’ and just “rolling around your backyard” - as I had.

Mind you, I see echoes in the latest narrow, Italian-style shoes of the ridiculous “winkle-picker” boots I once wore in my teens. They, too, turn up at the ends. This sight is made more hideous by the return of “drain-pipe” trousers. Now, haven’t I still got a pair of those somewhere?

• For Roy’s books visit www.royedmonds-blackpool.com.