A Word in your Ear - May 24, 2012

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I went to a leaving do last week of a good colleague of mine and, as you’d expect from a room full of journalists, it was something of a boozy do.

But that is not to say the obligatory happy family camera shots were not snapped to capture the moment for posterity.

Despite the relaxed setting, I had to remember a good piece of advice from my old mucker Author Dave, who once told me the art of looking slimmer on pictures was to suck your chin in – both of them.

The post-40 metabolism has now completely gone to pot, and if I do not go for at least one run a week those braces of Sayers meat and potato slices will never shift.

So, when pressed into such corners, or to borrow a hackneyed line from The Apprentice, ‘my comfort zone’, I always bend my head slightly down.

Of course, this works better when the photographer in question is a tad taller. If that’s the case, hey presto, Elle Macpherson eat your heart out.

But if I thought myself and Author Dave where the only ones to try this, then I’d better think again.

One web-based news site offered up an interesting lifestyle guide this week entitled How to Look Good In Every Photo. For the body-conscious this was a real winner.

The handy hints and tips included: Point 1) Look to your right

“A US study has revealed the left side of the face is more attractive than the right, apparently due to the fact that this side of the face shows more emotion. To capture the perfect profile picture, look slightly to the right to reveal your ‘best’ side. This can also help to give the illusion of a slimmer face.

Point 2) Look away from the lens

“Looking directly at the lens causes light to flash off the retina, leading to the red eye effect. Looking slightly away from the camera will also reduce the risk of those mid-blink shots.”

Point 3) Master the perfect smile

“Many of us focus on our mouths when smiling; however, in the words of model Tyra Banks, it’s all about the “smeyes” (smiling with your eyes). Rather than forcing a grin, think about something that makes you happy for a natural smile.”

And then my top tip arrived as Point 4) Banish the double chin.

“Make sure the camera is just above or at your eye level. Also, try tilting your head up and jutting your jaw out slightly.”

So there you have it girls, and Author Dave. Look right, stare away from the lens, smile uncomfortably, tilt your head and turn out your jaw.

Am I the only one getting the vision of ex-Match of the Day frontman Jimmy Hill? I thought so. I’m off for a pasty and a look down at my shoes for half an hour.