A Word In your Ear - June 7, 2018

Roy Edmonds
Roy Edmonds
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No ‘toilets’ for us, thenk-you

At Edmonds Towers we’ve some grand notions but decidedly aren’t royals. We use some so-called ‘received pronunciation’, saying “thenk-you” - but that’s a personal joke prompted by old films where stars all speak very ‘properly’.

Like the Queen, we leave some Christmas decorations up until late February. That’s to cheer up our little palace during dull winter weeks. We also avoid the word ‘toilet’, since reading Dame Barbara Cartland on etiquette. It should be ‘lavatory’ or ‘end of the passage’, though we prefer ‘bathroom’ or ‘loo’.

However, in other respects we’re quite different from Her Majesty and family. I know this from Smooth Radio, which She Who Knows favours in the car. They recently had tips from a former royal butler on making the perfect cup of tea.

They always use a teapot, of course, but then - he claimed - added milk after pouring and never stirred the pot in a circular motion.

This seems all wrong. As She Who Knows points out, if using bone china cups a drop of milk first prevents cracks. Also, it indicates how strong the brew is. As for spooning motion, I suspect he was deliberately stirring up things. No wonder he’s an ex-employee. (You can’t get decent staff these days!)

Then a Balmoral butler, on a TV programme about how the other half live, discussed serving red wine at the dining table. Apparently, royals never show the bottle but always decant first.

At Edmonds Towers I like to be reminded what I’m drinking, since we may keep a bottle for another day. Only our worst wine goes in a decanter to air (or hide) and, hopefully, encourage mellowness. Anyway, like the late Queen Mother, She Who Knows prefers champagne.

Finally, I keep a bottle or two of beer cool on the Towers’ back step. We’ve yet to learn where Philip keeps his.

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