Mum's The Word - October 18, 2016

This isn't really a column to shout about.
William Mellor shocked at what he heardWilliam Mellor shocked at what he heard
William Mellor shocked at what he heard

In fact, I’m quite ashamed.

But let my mistake be a lesson to others: little ears have big hearing.

William and I went to visit a friend and her baby boy the other day. But as we drove, I just couldn’t remember where the house was.

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I turned down one street (wrong one), then another (wrong again) before finally pulling up outside a familiar-looking house. I got William out the car, walked up the drive and was about to knock on the door when I had second thoughts. After a quick phone call we discovered we were outside the wrong house, so back in the car we went.

I definitely knew which way to go now. Definitely maybe.

As I drove passed yet another street, I realised I’d missed the right one.

At this point, I should explain I’m really not much of a swearer. The first time I felt the need to swear was aged 15 when I taped over my beloved Dirty Dancing video. Even then, I couldn’t quite bring myself to say the words and said “oh crepe paper” instead – a phrase used pretty much until a few years ago (that’s what a newsroom does to you!)

So, back to the missed turn off.

“Oh (insert word beginning with s, ending in t),” I said, without thinking who else was in the car.

“Oh s...”, repeated William. “Daddy says oh s...”.

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Oh does he now, I thought. We’ll be having words with Daddy.

Then I quickly remembered what I’d just said and put judgements to one side.

So, like I say... little ones’ hearing is more acute than you might think.

Time to bring back “oh crepe paper.”