Mum’s The Word - October 18, 2016

William Mellor shocked at what he heard
William Mellor shocked at what he heard
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This isn’t really a column to shout about.

In fact, I’m quite ashamed.

But let my mistake be a lesson to others: little ears have big hearing.

William and I went to visit a friend and her baby boy the other day. But as we drove, I just couldn’t remember where the house was.

I turned down one street (wrong one), then another (wrong again) before finally pulling up outside a familiar-looking house. I got William out the car, walked up the drive and was about to knock on the door when I had second thoughts. After a quick phone call we discovered we were outside the wrong house, so back in the car we went.

I definitely knew which way to go now. Definitely maybe.

As I drove passed yet another street, I realised I’d missed the right one.

At this point, I should explain I’m really not much of a swearer. The first time I felt the need to swear was aged 15 when I taped over my beloved Dirty Dancing video. Even then, I couldn’t quite bring myself to say the words and said “oh crepe paper” instead – a phrase used pretty much until a few years ago (that’s what a newsroom does to you!)

So, back to the missed turn off.

“Oh (insert word beginning with s, ending in t),” I said, without thinking who else was in the car.

“Oh s...”, repeated William. “Daddy says oh s...”.

Oh does he now, I thought. We’ll be having words with Daddy.

Then I quickly remembered what I’d just said and put judgements to one side.

So, like I say... little ones’ hearing is more acute than you might think.

Time to bring back “oh crepe paper.”