The monsters are on the way

The Loonies are coming again!

Tuesday, 6th September 2016, 10:23 am
Updated Tuesday, 6th September 2016, 11:26 am
Alan Howling Laud Hope

The Monster Raving Loony Party, which mocks British politics, has announced it is to hold its second party conference in the resort in the space of two years

Party leader Alan ‘Howling Laud’ Hope said the event, his party’s 32nd conference, would take place from September 29 to October 1 following the success of last year’s event.

In an invite to party members, he said: “Due to the astounding success of the Official Monster Raving Loony Party conference in Blackpool last year, we are returning again this year, much to the glee of all those that attended last time.

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“The venue is the same, Uncle Toms Cabin, North Shore. All welcome, you don’t have to be a party member, just wear a silly hat, or you will look out of place. If you don’t like a good laugh and a joke, then this event is certainly not for you.

He added: “There is nothing wrong with ‘Sensible Loonyism’. Lots of party policy, fun and entertainment.

“Invitation once again to all those local councillors and dignitaries, that came along last year, to congratulate us on trying to raise the profile of Blackpool as a conference centre once more. Glad that we could be of some help, and will try to raise it even higher, with your encouragement.”

Political leaders have long appealed for the Conservatives, Labour and Liberal Democrats to bring general meetings back to Blackpool.

The Conservatives were last to visit the resort in 2007.

Plans are now going ahead for a major new conference centre at the Winter Gardens, in a bid to attract the parties back again.

Not as Loony as you might think...

Policies suggested by the Monster Raving Loony Party in the past include:

The abolition of the 11 plus exam;

All day opening of pubs;

The lowering of the voting age to 18;

The legalisation and development of commercial radio; and

The abolition of dog licences.