Smiles for the start of a New Year in Blackpool with comical memories from those who worked in theatre

A new year dawns. Entertainment venues still face uncertainty. Will every venue reopen?

Older readers may muse: “We’ve been here before.”

Yes, but the circumstances were different.

Blackpool theatres closed and were demolished because they were unviable and there was no safety net of a theatre trust or a cultural grant.

Younger readers may today ask: “Where was the Palace? Where was the Queen’s? What was the ABC - a night club, a cinema or a theatre? Did they have shows in that big empty space in the Winter Gardens.”

The questions may drift to: “Didn’t they have summer shows on the piers.”

And: “Blackpool is supposed to have had lots of cinemas. Where were they?”

The Blackpool holiday poster on this page is from the 1950s and lists four theatres, six pier pavilions, the Pleasure Beach ice show, the Tower Circus and 18 cinemas. (I think the tourism department were counting a couple of theatres as cinemas).

The local archives are full of information on Blackpool’s entertainment history, much of it in Gazette articles. Your Memory Lane columnist sorted it out for a series of books, which we will start to précis later this month.

But let’s start the new year with a few smiles, courtesy of my correspondent Raymond Dolling, a retired ABC circuit manager who lives in Essex but knows Blackpool well.

From stage and screen colleagues

Ray has collected examples of remarks made by clueless theatregoers.

At the box office:

“Two tickets for Fanny of the Opera, please.”

“What time does the eight o’clock show start.”

“What time is the matinee?” - “It’s 2.30.”

- “Is that 2.30pm?”

At the Open Air Theatre in Regent’s Park - “Is the theatre air conditioned!”

A couple arriving to see The Railway Children - “We’ve just bought a kitten at Harrods. It’ll be fine to take him in with us won’t it? He’ll be in his box, of course.”

Interval utterances:

At the London stage production of The Lion King - “When does Elton come on?”

The drama The King’s Speech, with Jason Donovan as Lionel Logue - “Halfway through and not a single song.”

At Blood Brothers - “Something tells me this is not going to have a happy ending.”

The finale:

Jesus Christ Superstar - “Well, I never expected it to end like that!”

And Priscilla, Queen of the Desert - “Oh, my God - they’re all MEN!”

If you think some of these are a bit far-fetched, here’s my own story.

During the 1989 season of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Cats at the Opera House my wife, Thelma, had the sheet music/books concession in the Floral Hall, near the door to the front stalls.

Cats attracted many coach parties with men “in tow.” One night at the interval a man and his wife came out, the man grumbling: “Ee, ah don’t know, luv, it’s all - cats.”

Similar remarks were heard throughout the season.

Perhaps the wives had said they were going to the Grand to see the Grumbleweeds and the Nolans!