Taking Stock - January 28, 2013

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JANUARY is almost over and that means, for many of us, so is the fitness fad.

Not for me of course.

No, not because I’m a paragon of fitness and health the year round but because this year I just couldn’t be bothered.

Don’t get me wrong, I know I could do with losing a few pounds.

But I just don’t believe January is the time to do it.

When it’s freezing cold outside, well, it’s just not the time to go running.

No, the best thing to do is stay inside and enjoy some good old fashioned comfort food.

Hot pot, stew, a pork chop or two or some nice soup and fresh bread, the kind of grub that makes you forget the sleet outside and puts a smile on your face.

There are those people who, in the New Year, desperate to stick to their resolution, take out a gym membership.

And plenty of those folks, having started with the best of intentions, never make it beyond the third visit.

I know, without doubt, that’s the camp I would fall into.

Besides, I’m not comfortable exercising in front of other people – the majority of who, I have no doubt are a great deal fitter than I.

Besides, back here at Stocks Towers I’ve got my very own personal trainers, three of them, who keep me on my feet from dawn ‘till dusk.

Honestly, I’m absolutely certain that given a month off work and the twins to look after on a daily basis I’d return a far more slender individual, even if it would result in me losing my marbles as well as that much-needed weight.

My Good Wife, lacking the stubborn streak I possess when it comes to my own (lack of) health and wellbeing began her diet on New Year’s Day.

Now, that’s very bad news for me – not least because when she’s eating her low fat meals, I tend to eat precisely what I want.

That means the majority of my vegetable consumption for January has come in the chipped and deep fried form – any salad that has gone near my lips has been of the Wigan variety.

Fortunately, now January’s almost out she’s fallen off the wagon which means, once again I’m getting my greens and – even more importantly – the Chinese takeaway is no longer out of bounds on moral grounds.

In truth I’m glad she’s back in control of the menu around here.

Fewer sticky ribs and a few more bits of broccoli won’t do me any harm at all.

At least it might help tide me over until the weather gets warmer.

Then, and only then, I’m serious about beginning my own health kick.

After all, I wasn’t always the tubby type.

Back in my school days I was something of a cross country ace.

Now I can’t run 100 yards for a tram without nearly collapsing.

So, I’ve made a deal with myself – when the summer comes it’s out with the fishfingers and in with the fitness.

Not the gym pounding, high intensity kind, you understand – that’s good for some people but will never be my bag. Just enough to know next time that tram’s leaving, I’m going to make it home without a trip to the hospital.