Taking Stock - April 27, 2015

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Perhaps the biggest sign you’ve completed the transition to being a fully fledged grown-up is the realisation no matter how much money you earn, you never see any of it.

Anyone who has taken the leap into home ownership or got themselves an offspring or two (the pair do tend to go hand in hand, a kind of wallet sapping double-whammy) will know what a bottomless pit they can be.

There’s always something which needs fixing or replacing or, in the case of the young ones an item of clothing which has been grown out of or irreparably tarnished by jam.

Of course, as proper grown-ups (sometimes I still feel a bit of a fraud) it’s right and proper to make swift adjustments to deal with such circumstances - oh and chuckle at people discovering the pitfalls for the first time.

Right now I’m in a state of near perpetual belly laugh thanks to a colleague at Gazette Towers who is buying their first home.

Every day there’s a different revelation - from the price of surveyors to the startling outlay needed to procure bedside cabinets.

It’s amusing seeing somebody learning to cut their cloth for the first time but even I was surprised by the enthusiasm shown when our pal discovered the existence of Ikea.

We’ve all spent afternoons trudging obediently along the yellow line, herded into the ‘marketplace’ - from which it is compulsory to leave with a minimum of 100 tee-lights - before being sent to collect an item from the warehouse which will not, however hard you try, fit into your family hatchback.

No quantity of Swedish fast food could make up for the frustration - I’ve certainly never been excited by the prospect of a visit.

But then again I’m not new to the whole grown-up experience and thankfully I’ve already got a perfectly good set of bedside tables.

It’s a good job too because with a house and three children - I’d be saving for years just for the meatballs – still at least they’re not flatpack.