Look at it this way - March 30, 2012

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Sorry I’m late. Been in a queue. Panic buying.

Blame it on my siege mentality. It’s in the genes.

My gran was never happier than when she had a full coal bunker.

My mum panic buys condensed oxtail soup because it’s fallen from favour. It’s one of the great cooking cheats. Pour it over home-made meatballs for extra oomph.

We’re still working through Earl Grey loose leaf tea acquired after the bottom dropped out of the Bergamot market.

It’s easy to adopt the moral high ground and protest that panic buyers are creating the problem. But I’d say this – look at it from their perspective. The Chicken Licken of coalition governments hasn’t helped. The sky is falling. Fill up your jerry cans. Stash them in the garage. Hasn’t Cabinet minister Francis Maude ever watched Dad’s Army? Don’t panic, Captain Mainwaring. They don’t like it up ’em!

Talk about a bunker mentality. Come into my garden, Maude, just look at the fire hazard you helped create. Bring some bangers for the barbecue.

He has apologised since.

We have no divine right to drive. We all think we need our car. In reality, I only really need mine to give my mother a break from four walls or garden-faced daily. Wheelchair in the back and off we go.

From next week, I could hop on a new tram at Norbreck, get off at Starr Gate, and walk to The Gazette on Blackpool Business Park.

I would be probably be healthier. It would also mean bypassing the queues for Morrisons petrol pumps which extended back to Halfway House this week. Bad news for journalists on deadline trying to get back to the office – and workers beyond trying to enter and exit via the one route available.

The mini roundabout has joined the growing list of roundabouts I avoid - such as the redesigned Bispham roundabout, and the one at Waterloo Road where traders met their Waterloo. I’m beginning to hate driving – in a roundabout sort of way.

I was still put out to see an elderly lady top up her car and then five petrol cans in the boot. Then I noticed how she walked with difficulty to pay up. Who knows how important that car is to her? Who knows who else she might be buying for? The lads in vans filling any receptable going were getting snarled at too.

Most are self employed. I can interview someone by phone if I can’t get out on site. They can’t put in a new boiler or fit a kitchen or bathroom without taking tools and kit with them, Ditto supermarket deliveries to the housebound.

Let him who is without “spin” cast the first jerry can.

I’m off to panic buy postage stamps. Next stop: pasty shop. Keep cool. Ambient temperature and all that. Keep calm. What a carry on.