A Word In Your Ear - May 16, 2013

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OUR ‘Enry used to splash it on and I’m still doing the same - my aftershave, that is.

This close personal topic came up the other day as I slipped into a bench-seat at Blackpool’s oldest inn, The Saddle.

“Oooh, that smell again,” said Hazel, a regular, “it’s the same every week about this time.”

“Probably my aftershave,” I said, jokingly adding: “Night on a Troop Ship it’s called.”

Of course, it could have been the historic drains playing up.

I was confident of personally smelling pleasant, though, as She Who Knows has told me before – my aftershave and accompanying deodorant suit me. They also suit my pocket.

“Actually, it’s an old favourite,” I revealed to Hazel and company, “Brut.”

“You’re not still using that!” said Gary, a gent of worldly tastes. “Yes – and I get it from B&M Bargains across the road,” I confessed.

To the amusement of Hazel and game pal Ann, we men then recalled the heady heyday of Brut – as advertised on telly by top bruiser Henry Cooper.

“Used to splash it on before buttoning up my slim-fit shirt with long lapels,” recalled Hazel’s hubby Mick.

“And the bell-bottom slacks,” mused Gary.

By this time the whole room was listening.

“In Africa they’re all still using Old Spice,” said a genial Glaswegian who works on overseas contracts.

He had just returned from the Congo, where our classic British aftershave in distinctive potbottle with square cap is all the rage.

A bottle of Old Spice once rolled out of a bathroom wall cabinet I was snooping in, at a flat in London 40 years ago.

It shattered a porcelain lavatory bowl and, I feared, relations with my co-tenant – an attractive female bank worker. Having just answered her advert for a flat-mate and moved in, I had been secretly searching for clues of any boyfriends.

This incriminating incident and its embarrassing ramifications are relived in my book of humorous memoir, ‘The Last Resort’ (sporting a cover picture of Knott End – I did get around).

n For books and more visit royedmonds-blackpool.com.